When people hear the words Domestic Violence they immediately think of bruises and black eyes. However, the most important effects of domestic violence is the control that the offender imposes on his victims. Men who commit domestic violence have a need to be right, have a need to win and they are lacking in empathy. It takes a toll on the women and children who live with them. They spend a great deal of energy trying to please him or trying to keep him calm and the reality is that they have no way of changing or fixing him. Only specialized treatment holding him accountable, challenging his belief system and offering him tools to prevent further abusive controlling behavior will have an impact.